Search me - by Bec Bonython
Psalms 139: 23-24
Search me O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way of everlasting.
What a powerful prayer! What a vulnerable prayer David was praying!
Sometimes, as Christians, we have a tendency to think we’re fine and there is nothing God needs to change in my life. I go to church. I’m on the worship team. I go to Connect Group. I pray. I read my bible. I do my daily devotions. Tick. Tick. Tick.
We think: I haven’t done anything real bad, like kill or steal or cheat someone….I haven’t even been speeding lately. I follow the rules and if I do say so myself, I think I’m a pretty good all-round model citizen!!
The preceding 19 verses in this chapter marvel at God’s creation and at His intimate knowledge of who we are. These verses describe what God already knows about us and they speak of the omnipresence of God and the beauty of who God is.
Then Ps 139:19-21 takes a bit of the 180 degree turn, and as we read it we wonder why are those verses right there? What is the point of those 3 verses? This is beautiful Psalm 139 we are reading – why does David speak like this here!!
V19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse you name. Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord, and abhor those who rise up against you? I have nothing by hatred for them; I count them as enemies.
What these verses highlight is humanity’s frailty. It is in stark contrast to the all-knowing and omnipresent God, represented in the previous 19 verses. It describes the sinful nature of humanity, shining a true and discerning light into how we, even as Christians, can think, speak and behave. David was in opposition at the time, and in our lives we can have times of opposition and frustration which can makes us think along these lines too!
In the midst of that frustration and being vulnerable, David earnestly asks God to work on his heart. To:
• Search me – examine my heart. See if there is anything wrong in how I behave, think or act. Get the MRI machine and scan it over my heart and mind to see if there is anything that need fixing. How I speak to people, my heart reactions to those that frustrate me, how I am harbouring some bitterness towards someone that has hurt me.
• Test me – to test means there will be some pain and suffering, some hard and rough times ahead. Testing produces an awareness of what you know and what you don’t know about yourself. It gives us an understanding of what we need to work on in the future. Under pressure and in rough situations, we can get anxious about things.
• See me – yes God, shine that light into my heart. Allow the brightness of your truth to measure against my thoughts to see if I have offended anyone or if I have treated someone badly.
• Lead me – we pray, God, I surrender my heart and become vulnerable to You. Guide and direct my heart and mind in the right ways – in Your ways.
I pray that David’s prayer is our prayer as we come before God no matter what is happening in our lives and submit our hearts and minds to Him.