The generosity of sticking close - by Ben Bonython

There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. (Pr 18:24)

A desire to love, emotional sensitivity and self-reflection enable us to foster close relationships.  Sticking close to someone means to be generous with time.  Time is something we control ourselves, and yet we have less and less to give these days.

Before we consider real friends, let us reflect on our culture.  Think for a moment about the professional skills of people around you, or skills you have developed to get the job done.  It is absolutely true that these skills are important to live in our world.  But how important, for example, are your car driving skills to building close relationships? 

It is true that the skills and talents we have can be shared and given to others in genuine love and care.  It is obvious that the giving and receiving of such gifts creates opportunities for friendship. 

However we live in a culture where people are identified with their professions and skills, rather than their person.  It is so important that we do not fall into this trap that leads to transactional relationships.  The characteristic of a true relationship is one that sticks close, regardless!  My brother may be ‘not so handy’ in his skills, yet my brother knows me simply because of the time spent together.  Generosity of time and love is what cultivates space in our lives to stick close!

The idea of sticking close to one another is attractive and powerful.  Everyone wants to belong and have a team or tribe to call their own – or to put another way, everyone wants a group they feel ‘connected’ too.

Our Lord and Saviour Jesus was someone who called us family.  Jesus was someone not only gave His time, but His very life.  Jesus was someone who stuck so close to us that even while we were sinners, He remained our real friend.

In the same way, a distinctive attribute of the Church who gather in the name of Jesus is the desire of believers to cultivate close relationships with its people, regardless of professional or social background, and this takes time! 

In our present culture of distancing, and epidemical choices of time poor lifestyles, and the allure of transactional relationships, the simple idea of sticking close while seemingly allusive, remains more attractive and all the more potent.

So in 2022, may we begin first by sticking close to our real friend, Jesus!  The Bible outlines how to cultivate ‘real friends’ through love, commitment and generosity.  And may we be a church of real friends!