Let Go... and Make Room - by Elizabeth Reynolds
New Years is usually a time when we think about resolutions, new goals, new things coming just around the corner. What can we add to our lives to make it better. But sometimes, perhaps it’s not only a question of what new things or habits we can acquire, but also… what things and habits we should get rid of.
The new year brings about some changes for me personally. I am moving into a season of full-time teaching at my school. Being a ‘part-time’ teacher for many years, meant that I filled up the rest of my time with all sorts of other responsibilities. The obvious one being my other part-time job of church admin. But also, I did additional school admin support, librarian duties, and school and marketing tasks. Increasing my teaching responsibilities naturally means that some other things will have to move over, or go completely to make room in my schedule. This is not going to be easy for me. I enjoy doing all these things and they have been a big part of my ‘work’ life over the last three or so years. But letting these things go is a necessity for me at this time. I have to let go to make room.
In our spiritual lives, we sometimes have to let go of things to make room for God to do His work. Get rid of things from our heart to allow God space to work a new thing.
One of these could be bitterness. I think most of us will say immediately, “Oh yes, bitterness – get it out! Absolutely! We don’t need it. It’s damaging…” But how many of us are actually able to do it as easily as it is said? Whether we agree with it or not, it's easy to hold onto bitterness. We carry it around and cling to it like a mobile phone. Perhaps we even sometimes use it as a weapon of manipulation and control – or at least think about doing that. But the ironic thing is, it controls us instead, never leading to anything life-giving for us or the person we hold resentment towards.
Another dies in bitterness of soul, never having enjoyed anything good. Job 21:25.
I wish it was an easy thing, to just get rid of bitterness. But it comes from situations we usually feel completely justified about. Someone hurt us, they were wrong, we were right and so why shouldn’t I feel resentment? We hold it up like some trophy, proving we were right and hard-done-by. And from this, bitterness grows and flourishes. So it’s perhaps not the bitterness we need to snip off, but the pride. Pride is the root and by pulling out the root, perhaps bitterness will come with it.
Another thing we might need to let go of is fear. Fear is something else that is easy to agree to toss. Especially since we can sometimes be deceived into thinking we don’t have any fear. We’re redeemed, we’re forgiven and we live under God’s love… But there might be things that you know are right or that God is calling you to – that you are holding back from. What do you think is holding you back? It’s usually fear. Satan convinced Eve to fear missing out on something. That God wasn’t the Friend she thought He was. What is your fear? Reflect deeply and search within to answer that one. Work out what the fear is exactly… and then you’ll be able deal with it with God’s help.
Selfishness is another thing that creeps in and takes up a lot of space without us knowing. On surface level it’s, once again, easy to say we are not selfish. And I don’t believe I’m in a church full of ‘selfish people’. But, like fear and bitterness, we have to learn to recognise it and name it in order to deal with it. The bible tells us we must die to our selfish desires. In our everyday lives it might just look like:
getting grouchy when our young children wake us up too early or interrupt the ‘important’ things we’re doing
huffing when our spouse is twenty minutes late getting home
mumbling choice words when the slowpoke in front of us stops really early at a yellow light
being passive-aggressive when we feel unheard… etc.
All of it comes naturally to us. But none of it is helpful for anyone, least of all, ourselves. Next time something doesn’t go your way, truly note how you respond. Identify what most easily produces anger and frustration in your heart. Once you recognise where your selfishness runs most deeply, you can create healthier habits of reciting scripture, whispering simple prayers, and taking a few moments to pause and refocus.
There are many more things we could look at getting rid of. But one more to mention here is unrealistic expectations. Will some of these things I’ve discussed above creep back in sometime in the new year? Of course they will! So surrender the notion that you’ll be able to perfectly let go of them. You are both saved and sinful, and this contradiction won’t end until Christ makes all things new in the next life. But we can certainly be aware and watchful of them. It’s not like we only have one day of the year (1st January) to do a huge clean-up and toss-out and the next big clean will have to wait until this time next year. We can be renewed daily. We can be renewed moment by moment. The very second we recognise a struggle within us, we can whisper one of those simple prayers, pause to shift our focus, or recite a helpful scripture. Make space for the Lord to do His work, unfurl your fists that are so tightly clutching onto things you shouldn’t be. Ask the Lord for help.
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:22-23