Fatherhood Beyond Blood - by Alf Chehade

1 Corinthians 4:15…

For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers. 

The apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthian church and made this very astute observation. Plenty of advisors with limited skin in the game, but very few fathers, who are far more invested with emotion, passion, and commitment.

For almost 20 years, I worked with at-risk young people, overwhelmingly young men. Our aim was to get them into jobs and then help them to hold those jobs. We placed well over 3000 into jobs, mostly young guys. And then we would visit them in their new workplace to encourage them and try to sort out any problems they were facing. Almost without exception, the lads who came to us had no functioning dads. For a myriad of reasons, dad was absent. Most lived with mum and her “boyfriend”.

We grew to realise that one of the most important issues in the life of a young guy was having or not having, a functioning dad. By revelation of this issue, and by God’s grace, we acted towards them like a good father would act. We were generous towards them as they were mostly broke. We piled on free snacks. We set high standards for their behaviour while at our training program. Areas such as punctuality, dress code, respect for others, use of decent language, and as well, we enthused them with vision for a better future for their lives. We addressed pride, lying, forgiveness, and laziness. There were many more issues, but these mentioned are sufficient for now. We set boundaries for them where for so many of them, no-one had been able to set boundaries. We applied our Christian graces to young guys who needed much grace.

For us, this was a Christian ministry to people in high need. The young guys realised that we were serious about what we were doing, that we cared for them, and that we just might have the answers they were needing in their particular situation.

We had a very high attendance rate, very few dropped out of our program, and we produced outstanding results for our Government funding bodies. We were discreet in our Christian witness knowing that if we went too far and were unwise, maybe things would backlash.

One key to our success, among many others, was that we acted towards them like any good father should. Though they might not have been able to articulate that need, they responded to us with trust, belief, and willingness to get on board. Once we had their confidence, we could then achieve great things with them.

Back to Paul’s comment to his Corinthian friends… Paul’s point was that while many other ministries had interaction with the believers at Corinth, their input was tangential and lacked the relationship that Paul ministered with. He related that he and his co-workers had put up with much deprivation, had suffered ridicule, hunger, and rejection because of their love for God’s people, including the Corinthian Christians. Paul ends that train of thought saying God’s kingdom is not just talk, but a demonstration of God’s love and power.

In many parts of the Western world, there is an absence of effective fathering. Many fathers have had their legs cut from under them, and their confidence rocked by the attack on the male persona. “Toxic masculinity” is waved in their faces. Their thinking has been undermined as to how a good dad ought to act.

Let us all look at how God, our heavenly Father acts. He is always loving, always caring, always encouraging, always wanting us to strive for the best, and He is always forgiving if we mess things up. He corrects when we fall. He soothes us when we err.

Be encouraged dads. You have a great exemplar in God our heavenly father.